" This passage not only showed Jacobs that her love life was in the control of her masters, but that her very life was a privilege that could be taken away by the whim of Dr. Flint. .
In response to that situation Jacobs found another man, perhaps due to a relationship with Dr. Flint and perhaps to avoid one with him while driving him mad. "Revenge, and calculations of interest, were added to flattered vanity and sincere gratitude for kindness. I knew nothing would enrage Dr. Flint so much as to know that I favored another." Her calculations show that she wanted control and she knew how to ascertain a part of it by playing off Dr. Flint's jealously. When Dr. Flint began to build the "lonely cottage" Jacobs saw her opportunity to gain control. When Dr. Flint told her it was time to go she responded, "I will never go there. In a few months I shall be a mother." Her moment of glory soon faded as the clouds of regret hung above her. "I thought I should be happy in my triumph over him. But now that the truth was out, and my relatives would hear of it, I felt wretched My self respect was gone." In her effort to gain control she had lost her respect and the realization that freedom was not defiance began to sink in. Freedom was living without a master, which no retort was going to make happen. .
With the battle for control lost for the time being, Jacobs" rebellious ways tapered off. It was during this time period that Jacobs had two children Benny and Ellen. Now her story had meaning. What she was suffering through was now the future for her children. She knew that Benny would be a slave and wished for his death when he was born premature, but when Ellen was born Jacobs cried fore she knew the problems unique to female slaves that her daughter would be subject to. It was her children that made Jacobs" experiences have meaning. Now it was not to only benefit herself, but to escape with her children. The stories she had heard about slaves being killed and her experiences with Dr.