"All employees want bosses who are knowledgeable, competent and attentive. The problem arises when those three attributes don't mean the same thing to all the bosses and all the employees" (Moon, 2002). As a result of this difference in communication styles, female bosses who try to be assertive are called "bossy". Meanwhile, men who use the same strategies are called "strong team builders." "Since men are more likely to possess masculine characteristics and women are more likely to possess feminine characteristics, men are more likely to rise to leadership positions" (Nelson & Pearson, 2000).
Where did this breakdown in communication begin? What could be the roots of such communication differences between the genders? Research has shown that from childhood, men and women are taught to communicate differently. While girls are taught to be pretty and nice, boys are taught it is okay to be noisy and aggressive. This is clearly demonstrated in the way children play with their toys. When girls play with dolls and tea sets, they engage themselves and their toys in conversation. This is the beginning of her relationship building. Conversely, when boys play with their action figures and cars, inevitably there will be a car crash, or the Spiderman and G.I. Joe figures will have a fight. .
"In the male world, some one is always one up and someone is always is always one down. Competition defines your place. For men, language creates independence. Young girls tend to play non-competitive games. Even when there is competition between them it is not the essence of the game; it isn't terribly important who wins and who loses. Their focus is on the connection. Often they don't even keep score" (Balanced Living, 1992).
In the workplace, men tend to be task-oriented and women are relationship oriented. Men use communication to solve problems or complete tasks. At the same time, while women use communication to build relationships and create intimacy.