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New Beginning


            
             I walked down the halls of my new school. The receipts for tuition and books for my classes held tightly in one hand and the "baggage- I had just picked up from the school's bookstore seized securely in the other helped further the notion that it was indeed my school, that I owned a piece of real estate. I know it was a bit eccentric, but after signing about five student loan applications and in essence signing my life and credit away for the time being, I felt that I was entitled to something. A few pieces of paper and several hardback books were just not going to cut it. .
             The thoughts of my new and questionable journey in life were quite stimulating. I felt good about actually following through with what I had set out to do. I was now in college. Premature feelings of accomplishment made my spirit dance on the inside. Being the youngest of four children, I was only the second of the bunch to actually .
             "see the light- and walk through the doors of a higher education facility. That was a triumph within itself. Enrolling in college was a big step for me. My oldest brother had graduated from a university, and was now a successful businessman. However, I did not go back to college for anyone but myself. .
             Not finishing high school was something that I will regret for the rest of my life. Dropping out of school in the tenth grade really put a damper on things and, in actuality, clouded the vision I had of my future. However, knowing that I could graduate from college with a degree was something that my family and I would be proud of for the rest of our lives. So with that in mind, I signed up to get my "good enough diploma-. Or, at least, that's what I called my GED. .
             That alone was not enough. I still felt like I was a failure. Those feelings of guilt and shame fueled my desire to start college even more. After leaving high school I kept thinking about what I was going to do.


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