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Fear of Flying


            I hate flying in planes more than just about any other thing in life. Even the thought of getting near one causes me to have severe anxiety which leads to a full blown panic attack. This specific trip for my honeymoon, flying from Tampa to Nassau in the Bahamas. When I booked the flight I had no idea we had to take a small twin-engine propeller plane, so you can imagine how I felt when I got to the airport and figured this out. I did my best to remain calm, but at this point I was so afraid that nothing I did helped. I kept hearing my inner voice screaming, telling me not to get on the plane. The whole time I sat waiting to board the plane I worried about something tragic happening. My biggest fear in life is dying and leaving behind my daughters. It felt like I was having a premonition that the plane was going to crash. Even with all of this fear and doubt racing through my mind I sucked it up, and I boarded the plane in total fear for my life. .
             Our first flight of the day from Tampa to Miami was on a Boeing 757 jet, so I was not particularly worried or freaked out during that flight. However, when we arrived at the gate in Miami for our flight to Nassau I noticed that a small propeller plane was on the runway, waiting for us to board. At this moment I went into full panic mode. I have never been on a smaller plane, especially one that was not a jet. I have a hard enough time flying on a bigger jet, so right then I knew this flight was going to be a very tough one. I started to recall stories that I have heard over the years of plane crashes, usually in a smaller plane. For some reason, I think of them as less safe and secure than a larger plane, although that is probably not true. This reason alone may be why I am so scared of flying in a smaller plane like I was about to board. .
             Normally, passengers walk through the gate and down a ramp that is connected directly to the plane and this is what I was expecting.


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