I don't know how much longer I can carry on like this. Knowing and seeing what is going on around me but not being able to do anything about it. Last time Adam was here he was so determined to come in and see me. He fought through the nurses and hotel security just to get to me. I just don't think he could handle seeing me. I look practically lifeless, nothing but a shell of my former self surrounded by wires and machines. He looked at me for ten seconds and burst into tears, I hated seeing him like that, so weak and vulnerable. I hurts me to know that I was the one that made him feel like that.
That all happened a week ago, he hasn't been back since. My grandparents eventually went home, they've come back every day at least twice and Kim still hasn't left. I feel like I'm wasting their time, it's like their life would be better without me. I know they all care about me but they will eventually get over it. Even if I do stay I wont be the same. They will have to deal with my constant breakdowns and I don't know what I'm going to do without my family. That is if I even make it that far.
I'm going to have to do so much rehabilitation if I can even walk when I wake up.
I keep thinking back to what that nurse said, I have a choice to stay. If I honestly wanted to stay I would've woken up by now. I mean, there is something obviously keeping me here, part of it is Kim, and part of it is Adam. But another part is my grandparents.
Kim would be upset at first. She would be devastated, but she would eventually get over it. She would find new friends, go on to college, get married and start a family.
Adam would be torn apart but he would write a really good song about me and it would be a hit. I wouldn't be there to hold him back anymore so he could go on tour. While on tour I'm sure he would meet a gorgeous punk rock girl and they would be perfect together, just like my parents.
Speaking of my parents, I wonder where exactly they are.
