Some comfort can be found in the fact that these behaviors are typically associated with various stages of child development and, therefore, can often times be predicted. While that does not change the importance of these situations, it does give you more time to prepare for the best way to approach such conflicts. Knowledge is power. So ask, observe, and listen. Talk with your friends, read books, listen to your parents" stories, and watch your parental-peers negotiate with their own children. Being well prepared and armed with as much information as possible is a vital part of any negotiation process. Understanding the message behind your child's behavior is an integral part of determining the best negotiation tactics to lead towards healthy development.
Just as important is to remember that various stages in child development call for different tactics. You would never walk into a business negotiation and assume that the tactics you used 2 years back with a previous client would be suitable for use in an entirely different situation. The issues, positions, and interests have most likely changed and that requires a new game plan.
Dealing with your child calls for similar adjustments. While the physical being of your child will remain the same, every development cycle is so intensely different that it should be addressed as if dealing with an entirely different person. A 15-month-old child having a temper tantrum does not hold the same interests as a school aged child who has just begun to start bending the truth in his stories. These misbehaviors are communications. If you misidentify what is being communicated, you will most certainly misidentify the needed response.
Begin with Parental Self-control.
"You cannot teach skills that you do not possess" (Baily, 2000). Self-control is, perhaps, the most important and challenging skill that any individual can learn to master. In effect, it is what underlies most of the lessons and values that we attempt to instill in our children.
