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The Scholar Within

            Through the eighteen years I have lived on this earth, I have analyzed a number of reasons that may have contributed to the creation of the entity I am today. I have really never given myself credit for my efforts and am in a state of perpetual denial of my academic stability. I have been told I posses the potential to do anything, but have really never believed it. As a junior in high school, I enrolled in an AP History course that challenged my mental capacity and exercised my writing abilities. The day I received an A on a paper from a well know difficult AP teacher, was the day I finally believed in myself.
             Coming from a home-schooled background, I did not have any idea of what to expect in a public school system so I frequently prepared for the worst. My first year in a public school system, my sophomore year, I made a point of combing through all available scholastic material, meticulously studying every relevant aspect that could potentially serve as a vice to my success. After, a year of application I came to terms with what was expected and rejected in the public school system.
             My teachers were usually impressed and sometimes surprised at my abilities, always expecting my best in every paper and worksheet. One teacher even asked if I had ever considered honors courses, which I usually declined to comment, too afraid my work would never suffice for the courses" quality criteria. I never considered my efforts to be that of a devoted student, only a student in desperate need of approval. The approval was usually there, but being a semi-overachiever, I was never satisfied with my own work. .
             After a year of academic duress and active peer pressure, I finally attempted to do what I considered to be the impossible. I took the liberty to sign up for a challenging AP Dual Credit US History course at the closing of my sophomore year. This proved to be a wise decision on my part, but also provided evidence that I was worth more in other's eyes than I was worth to myself.

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