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Minimizing the effects of divorce in children


             When parents communicate effectively with their children, it helps children cope with all the changes that family restructuring involves. Effective communication can help children to understand that they are not the cause of their parent's relationship failure; begin to see the positive side of change, instead of just the losses; accept the permanence of the family change; find acceptable ways to express and to let go of anger; create a healthy self-esteem, which will help them make friends and succeed in school; and develop hope for future relationships by learning from others experiences.
             b. Parent - parent communication.
             When parents communicate effectively with each other they are able to protect their children from their adult conflict by dealing directly with each other when the child is not present; protect their children from their adult conflict by dealing directly with each other when the child is not present; make fair financial agreements; make decisions in the best interest of their children; and create a cooperative parenting plan.
             Children do benefit when their parents can communicate with each other. The parents may no longer be partners, but they are still parents to the children. After a separation and/or divorce, parents have several ways of communicating (or not) with each other. Some parents do not communicate at all; some are unable to do so (e.g., when domestic violence or safety concerns prohibit equal and healthy communication). Some parents try to communicate and end up in arguments, while others are able to cooperatively, respectfully, and patiently talk with each other about their children. Some parents can be in touch fairly well with each other about their children some of the time while at other times they end up in conflict.
            


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