In the very first sentence of the chapter "115 Beacon Street", Mark Doty states, "Being in grief, it turns out, is not unlike being in love" (Doty 38). He uses this as an introduction to the chapter when Doty describes the time in his and Wally's relationship where the two of them were experiencing that first phase of love that is fiery, passionate and intense. He finds a way to connect this intensely emotional feeling with the same powerful feelings of grief. Only in grief can Doty return to this neighborhood and relive his and Wally's passion.
When you are first in love with someone, your entire life is consumed by them. They are all you can eat, breathe or sleep. Everything you experience somehow reminds us of that person. This reminds me of something a friend once said. She had just begun a relationship with a new boyfriend, whom apparently she liked a lot. We were talking about our plans for a break from school, and someone mentioned skiing. She said, "You"re going skiing? That's so cool, because Steve loves hot chocolate." We all just stared at her in shock. It was something that only a person who has experienced love before could understand. .
The situation is the same when you are grieving for the loss of someone close to you. Doty remarks that people respond to you differently, they find you unguarded and it "seems to invite them in" (Doty 38). People are very vulnerable when they are in one of these extreme emotional conditions. They only want one thing, and that is to be with the central figure. When Doty says that people respond to this difference in character, maybe he means that they sense this vulnerability and want to get closer to you. .
This idea of the similarity between love and mourning is very important to Doty as it provides him with a sort of connection with Wally, even through his death. By visiting the place where he was first in love with Wally, he can come to terms with his grief and give it something to relate to.
