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Divorce- Don't destroy the children too.



             Unfortunately the majority of couples who divorce are caught up in the breakdown of their own lives. Despite their best intentions, children are not the main issue. They are pushed to the sidelines and somehow expected to cope or adjust. Yet their lives may be changed forever. A child faced with the separation of two parents, does not just lose one person. He or she will possibly risk being cut off from a whole extended family. There is no sense to this in the child's eyes. There is only exclusion that seems like punishment. A child may have to undergo, severe difficulties in facing new schools, routines, and perhaps even moving to another home. They may be taken away from their friends and all that is familiar. In result a child will lose the constant attention and presence of one parent. He or she may be the subject of court battles, and custody hearings.
             They will have more negative self-concepts and more problems getting along with their peers. The effects of divorce on children do not stop there. Later in life the results of these failings and struggles manifest themselves in other ways. Even as teens and adults, these children are more prone to a lack of self-esteem and criminal behavior. This may show itself in drug or alcohol abuse. These same children may have more difficulty in establishing lasting adult relationships. Mistrust and a fear of commitment may be a feature of their lives. In conclusion, they will be much more likely to divorce themselves.
             Parents who divorce are likely to regain their balance. Many will re-marry. Some will gain great strength from living a single life. The effects on the children however are long lasting, deep and real. Losing a parent from a divorce is like grieving over a death. However where a death is final, the loss of one parent is on going, continual and forever. Of course parents do not wish this to be the case, however that many who separate and divorce are unable to maintain the promises of visitation and attention.


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