"Perfection," a life long unattainable struggle sought after by the world's majority. My own life was greatly affected by that strive to reach the ever so non-existent state of what I considered to be "perfect." All my life I have struggled with my need for perfection. I have always found it necessary to achieve perfect grades, perfect relationships, etc., so it was not a big shock when I found myself at age 14 struggling to achieve the perfect body.
"I just want to be skinny," I thought to myself. Everyone I came across that was happy also possessed the quality of thinness; so I figured if I lost weight, I would be happier and people would pay attention to me more. It seemed like I had it all; a loving family, friends, intelligence, but, in my eyes that was not enough. I needed to be thin. I longed for it. At the beginning of my eight-grade year, I weighed 147 pounds. I had never really thought of myself as being fat, but I knew I was not the thinnest person in the world. Sometime during the course of that year, I started to lose weight. I did not do it on purpose, it just sort of happened. By the time I graduated eight-grade, I had lost about 10 pounds without meaning to. My friends were starting to notice and were telling how much better I looked. It still did not occur to me that there was anything different. When I learned that I lost 10 pounds, I just dismissed the news and figured the scale was wrong. It was over the summer problems started. I began to realize how much better it was to be thin and I felt a lot happier about myself. .
When I started high school, I was down to 123 pounds and was feeling great until I realized how much thinner everyone was compared to me. It was then I realized I wanted to lose more weight. My friends started to get concerned about me. They kept making me eat and one even went as far as to bring me to an eating disorder clinic. They thought that would cure me but it did not help any.