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parody of authors


            
             Yet another short-lived winter day drew to a close, as jubilant, enthusiastic Christmas carolers were returning to their homes, a sheet of powdery white snow lay accumulated across the entire city, resembling a long undisturbed snow globe. Throughout the course of the day, the pristine crystalloid structures of snow were tarnished, bulldozed aside, compacted, and mixed with the most impure substances without abandon. .
             However, as if a contrary to the norm, the snow on the corner house on Elm Parkway lay as innocent as when it had fallen from the most nebulous of clouds. The patterns, textures and slopes created by the snow were so pure, that their only distortion lay in their reflections of their surroundings. Their reflections divulged much of the activities inside of the house; the constantly shifting hues could indicate only one thing: the telly was on. .
             Through the varying panels of the house, a muffled, yet distinct voice could be heard. .
             "Sinners, sinners, you are all sinners! How dare you place this trivial pleasure in front of God?" the booming voice was of none other than the zealous and formidable Jonathan Edwards. "If God should only withdraw his hand from the fiery pits of hell, floods of the fierceness and wrath of God would rush forth with inconceivable fury, and would come upon you with immeasurable power!" .
             Staring with bewilderment at such a harbor of sin, Edward's gaze was transfixed upon a widescreen television, something one of his scientific colleagues took the liberty of buying. .
             "Gentlemen, gentlemen, if we could possibly tear ourselves from the magnificent cathode ray tube, we should tidy things up, I will not tolerate any uncleanliness in body, clothes or habitation," gestured Benjamin Franklin. .
             Referring to the strewn pieces of cardboard within which the aforementioned device was packaged, Franklin began to collect the scattered remnants of the box and placed them in the garage.


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