Most girls are close to their mothers when they are young, and many return to that closeness as adults. But few girls manage to stay close to their mothers during junior high and high school. I have realized that before I entered into high school, my mother and I had a close relationship. I was the exception of most girls my age and many of them seemed jealous of me and even thought of my mother as the "cool" mom. When I entered into high school, this all changed. I started keeping things from my mom and not talking to her as much. We were growing apart and we both knew it, but I didn't know what to do. It seemed like I wanted to keep things to myself and I just wanted my own privacy. Girls at their most vulnerable time reject the help of the one person who wants most to understand their needs. Erin also says "I didn't get along with my mom at all. I would go to school and then when I came home, I"d lock myself in my room. I just didn't want to see her or deal with her. It wasn't like I hated her, I was just going through a lot and didn't know how to express myself, other than to "hide" from everyone." Girls truly desire strong ties with their mothers, but many times it's hard to figure out how to maintain these ties with their them. Mothers also feel helpless during these times, not knowing what to say or do, afraid that their daughters would just become more and more upset and angry with them. #My mother, Cathy, has said that with both my sister and I, she has #"felt like my kids were beginning to need me less and less and I just feel helpless." Sometimes mothers feel like they can't help their daughter, they feel like they are the cause of all their problems. Cathy also agrees. "I did feel like I caused many problems in both of my daughters lives and even with the problems I knew I wasn't the cause of, I just felt that if I tried to help in any way, then I would only be making things worse.
