I was very in touch with my sexuality at a young age. I may not have understood sexuality as I do know, but I was always in touch with it. I was 5 years old and having sexual relations with my teddy bear. My mom walked into a door that I thought was locked, and discovered me, and my newfound passion. Being as close as I was to orgasm I couldn't bring myself to stop. It was a weird mixture of embarrassment and release. My mother calmly told me to go take a bath and we would talk about some things when I got through. This experience opened another to relation ship with my mother, and we have always been able to discuss sex openly. My dad on the other hand had never discussed sex as he did with my older brother Brandon. I was comfortable with the situation on hand. .
I will never forget watching Madonna's "like a prayer music video." Watching her thrust herself with a cross in her tight black clothing, large breasts, and extreme passion had me turned on. Part of me felt bad because of my Baptist upbringing, but the other part of me felt very unexplored. There were so many questions that I began to ask myself, was I suppose to feel sexy? Was I supposed to cross my legs? Am I to like boys or girls? I wanted to know so therefore my journey began. I was the first of my friends to have sex, as usually I don't want to know other people's thoughts, I want to experience for myself and that I did. Being that it was with my high school sweetheart I felt safe in my decision to have sex. .
The experience was great, and I wouldn't change a thing. Then the hard part came because now I"m more curious than ever. I loved my boyfriend, but I loved to explore even more. It was easy for me to have sexual relationships with other men because they were all I hung out with. In my own words I would call it an exchange of sexual learning.
I"m grateful for all the experiences I've had in my life, the good and the bad.