Of all the disorders that could be written about I though that Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) seemed the most compelling. People that I have read about, who suffer with this disorder seem on one hand, charismatic, exciting, life of the party types and on the other hand they seem needy, lonely, unstable, moody, and empty. Though I am greatly simplifying a very complex disorder, it is like they are beautiful toys. That only comes to life when someone interacts with them. It was written that Marilyn Monroe (who was believed to suffer with BPD) hate being alone. "Without people constantly around her, she would fall into avoid, endless and terrifying." (Kreisman, MD & Straus, 1991, p. 40) By doing this research I hope to gain a little better understanding of such a complex and torturous disorder.
Definition of Disorder.
The first question that would need to be asked and answered is, what is Borderline Personality Disorder? Later in this paper I will list the symptoms, but first I am going to give my sense of what it is like to suffer with this disorder. From the readings I got the impression that suffering with this disorder, a person lives a very intense, emotional, moody, and sometimes desperate existence. The person can often function "normally" in society, but the internal emotional pain can be unbearable. People suffering with this disorder can be very moody, can have feelings of desperation, insecurity, and isolation. They tend to be impulsive and suffer from bouts of depression. They also tend to live recklessly and engage in self-damaging behavior. People suffering from BPD frequently display inappropriate anger. They also may have feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and lack a clear concept of self. I have read that some people that suffer with this disorder feel disconnected from life, like they are just observers looking in at their own life. Lastly the strongest impression that I got from doing this research is that these people suffer greatly from feelings of losing their love ones and of feelings of abandonment.