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Thin Equals Beautiful


[Look at this paragraph closely. Virtually every one of your sentences makes a statement then repeats the same exact point in the next sentence. Avoid this, by asking why is it important for society to create these standards? Why reward people for conforming?] .
             Why is America so accepting of these body image standards? [Unfortunately, you don't answer this question in the paragraph, though it's very important to your paper.] America is a place .
             where the individual is a highly respected person. [Awk phrasing.] Hard work and self-control are the most .
             prided [Awk.]characteristics in American culture. Women learn that working hard to keep this ideal .
             body and having self-control over ones [possessive] body will be looked upon as a great achievement. .
             By doing so they will be rewarded with the better life that the better-looking women have. If .
             you are fat, you are viewed as being last and having no self-control and they know this. .
             Advertisements keep pushing women to have better bodies, to try harder to achieve the .
             ideal. [This all repeats the above paragraph.].
             "One out of every four college women has an eating disorder. A psychological study .
             in 1995 found that three minutes spent looking at models in fashion magazines caused .
             70% of women to feel depressed, guilty and shameful. 50% of American women are dieting .
             and 75% of "normal- weight women think they are too fat- (47). [Guide this quote.] Even women who are fully .
             aware of the standardizing of body types conform to it. They know that because society .
             operates in this manor, they have to be thin to get ahead. Society not only judges women, .
             but women judge themselves. Other women especially thin women are constant reminders .
             that they must be the ideal. [Why? In a country based on freedom, why can't people live and let live?] Most women are in competition with one another. [Why?] If you can be .
             thinner than her than you can be better than her.


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