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My Secret and My Dreams

 

            
            
             So funny, telling you about my life, my feeling, and my secrets. I do not know how to welcome you into my heart and soul. You see, nobody ever asked me what I though or how I felt about life's challenges. Or maybe, they never really cared about what I thought.
             My journey to Bacolod City began many years ago in Manila, Philippines. Where I was born and grew to a young lady full of energy and life. My parents called me Virgie because there was something regal about the sound. They had high hopes of my marrying a local boy from a good, wealthy family. You know the kind slick, black hair; long side burns, driving a sports car. The kind who brings you a flowers on every date.
             To get even, or because I was in romantic haze. I met and married a U.S. marine from Sacramento Ca, who was stationed at our local embassy, where I also worked.
             Marriage, a home in America, and two beautiful children occupied seven years of my life. Where did my life go? It went somewhere. But there is no lost and found department for a life lost in many years. .
             My marriage was bad. It was so bad that I cried every night for all those years. I would tell myself, you are in strange country maybe the customs are different. The children need me, and I cannot admit failure to my parents back in Philippines.
             As luck would have it, fate interviewed. My ex-husband found someone new and left me and children with no money, very hurt and depressed. I quickly took an inventory foreign born, with not a great command of the English language, no money, no job training and two kids. My future looked bleak.
             But it did not stop. My mother died. I loved her so much, and she was always my source of strength in need. I felt very hurt, lonely, angry and very sorry for myself.
             However, I remembered a saying my dad would quote to me when things were going wrong and the future looked black. He would say, my dear, it is always the darkest when you see are fresh out of matches.


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