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Alaska

 

            I have been thinking about home a lot lately. I wouldn't say I was homesick, but there is something about home that keeps squirming its way into my thoughts. Maybe it's the snow that has been falling lately and the way people can't drive in it. Maybe it's how I sit back and laugh at the cumulative inability to drive in an inch of the white stuff. Maybe it is because I miss my family and know I can't go back home ever again and fall back into the family as the same person. .
             Thanksgiving break I went home for a few days to see the family and my friends that I left behind for Lincoln. Walking in from my garage into the laundry room, and subsequently the hall, the elusive smell of your family hits you and you think "So that's what I smell like." Sitting in my room with my luggage surrounding me, I felt as if I were intruding into someone's room and they weren't home. Everything was as I had left it, but I felt so disconnected from it all. I had dinner with my family and saw my boyfriend for the first time in five months, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't the same, and neither was my family.
             I was sent back to school with a couple homemade turkey sandwiches and some fruit salad. I sat in the Minneapolis airport and ate them both. I went back and ended my first semester in college. I come home a second time, only weeks later, and arrived feeling dissimilar from my family and my surroundings. Maybe it's just me? Even my kitten looks at me like I am a stranger. I think the most surreal of all events when I went home for Christmas was the brunch we had. We invited people who I hadn't seen since May. I got hugs and gave hugs, but it almost seemed like they were just there for the food, not the company. Typical Americans. But even with all the divergent things going on you can still count on the weather and the surroundings back home. .
             Fall. When the days start becoming bitter and wet.


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