All family members can use nonverbal communication to express their feelings. This can be done through hugs, kisses, smiles. Family members can become so good at this that they often don't have to say anything to be understood.
Some negative ways of communicating in families include not listening. Often husbands are guilty of not listening to their wives. Teenagers will tune out their parents. Parents will not listen to what their children are really trying to say to them. This type of communication will ultimately lead to problems in the family.
Other negative communication patterns include constant criticism or nagging. Marriage partners can easily fall into this method of communicating if they are not careful. This includes finding fault with whatever the spouse has done or they way in which he or she does it. Also, parents can find themselves being overly critical of their children for not acting in a way in which they would want them to act or for not accomplishing what they want their children to do.
Another type of negative communication is "gunnysacking." This involves saving up past mistakes and hurts and reliving them at a future time. In the heat of an argument one spouse will bring up past actions of the other spouse. Or, a parent will remind a child of a past mistake and become angry about it again. Children can also remind parents of their past mistakes.
As the holidays approach most families will be getting together with the extended family--plenty of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. This can be a prime time of communication problems if families aren't careful. During holidays families often overeat, fail to get rest and are involved in the stress of trying to have the perfect holiday. This is a prime time for families to get into arguments and have hurt feelings if they haven't anticipated the problems. Positive experiences with relatives during the holidays will occur if families communicate in healthy ways.