During the first year of marriage there are many adjustments to contend with in the newly formed relationship. Some of the most common problems to arise stem from unrealistic expectations involving money, the roles we play, communication skills, relatives, and sex (Olson). One study discovered that couples found their newlywed year to be either their hardest or their easiest year. It was most likely to be a good sign if the couple found this to be their hardest year, due to their actual acknowledgement of the problems that arose and taking steps to work them out. The ones, who found it easy, most likely denied or avoided any such problems (Olson). Dealing with problems early can keep them from escalating later. .
Good communication skills are the most important tools a couple can possess, to work on their relationship and keep it healthy. Some effective ways to communicate include accentuating the positive and leaving out criticism, putdowns or blaming. Using statements that begin with "I" help us take responsibility for our feelings and become useful strategies for good communication. Replying with empathy responses is also helpful, but most of all it is important to stay calm and listen to one another. A good relationship requires our positive emotions to outweigh our negative emotions by five to one. Various positive emotions can include conversation, concern, appreciation, fun and sex. Since we all need love and respect, it is important to find ways to convey this message (Olson).
