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annotated bibliography

             Why does marriage work on an interpersonal level?.
             What makes marriage work? (cover story).
             This article made some really good points on why marriages do and do not last. The research of the mid to late nineties stated that over half of all marriages fail and second time marriages have a sixty percent fail rate as well. Gottman makes a good argument, get mad as hell or avoid conflict at all costs. He does point out that the positive must outweigh the negative by a five to one ratio. Most people who enter marriage are scared and do not know exactly what to do. Gottman states that people should be scared because the failure rate in America is so high. Lasting marriages are in direct correlation to the couple's ability to resolve conflicts and therefore on an interpersonal level they are connected and feel closer so they share more thoughts with one another. Gottman states that there are three different ways or styles of problem resolution. The first is validating, this means that the couple work out their differences in a calm and compromising way so that both parties are happy with the end result. The second is volatile. When conflict comes up in a relationship, the couple erupts and it often ends up in a passionate dispute. The last way is conflict-avoiding. This is when a couple fights with silence. Both parties are mad or upset but neither one is willing to verbally acknowledge the conflict. Gottman also states in the end of the article that all three styles of conflict resolution are effective for long term marriages.
             I will definitely use this information in the body of my paper. It gives examples of conflict resolution and touches on interpersonal relationships and why they work. Gottman also gives different conflict resolution styles and states statistics on how successful marriages really are in America. After researching my topic the information in this article still stands true one decade later.

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