Jessie could be described by some as a very confused young woman. She has decided to take her own life. She has thought it over and decided that it was the right decision for her. Jessie is calm in the knowledge that it is her choice, her decision to end what she considers less than the life she had wanted for herself. "The someone that she had waited for who never came-. # She has finally regained control of her mind and of her body and tonight she is determined to hold on to that control through the act of taking her own life. Her mother goes through a roller coaster of emotions; first denial then anger, she tries to bargain with Jessie, finally realizing that the decision has already been made. She reluctantly accepts the fact that Jessie has made up her mind. .
Jessie sees death as an end to all the pain and noise. It is too much for her to handle and she is tired. She is not having any fun and she doesn't have any reason to think that it will get any better. There isn't anyone special in her life. Her son is taking his own road, he has chose his own path, and she's not content with her mother's company. She feels like her life is the only thing that she does have control over and it is time to get off the ride. .
Jessie plans it out meticulously, every detail, gathering all of the necessary equipment to perform the task at hand. She finds old towels, plastic bags and then asks her mother about her fathers' old pistol. She has a gun, but she would rather use her fathers'. She has searched the house and the attic but has not been able to find it. She calmly tells her mother that the gun is for herself. "I'm going to kill myself mama."" .
Jessie is determined to be sure that she doesn't leave loose ends or things undone. She arranges with the milkman and grocery, she takes care to tell her mom about the phone numbers and people to call when she needs anything. She distributes all of her candy out to where her mother can find it, and she makes out her lists for reference, to make sure she does not forget anything.
