As I looked above me, the light shined down on me as if it were going to encase an angel, a misty light blue with smeared streaks of darkness. The sun reflected off the water making everything seem brighter. As I stared into the light, I could feel the rhythm of my heart weaken with every second that went by. I struggled for air as I sunk deeper and deeper into the water. My limbs had gone numb as I started to shake. I felt like I was having a seizure, but I knew I wasn't. Chlorine filled my mouth; there was nothing I could do to stop the flow of negativity and chaos from flooding in. My thoughts were spinning as I questioned if this was the right decision or not. The sharp burn of the chlorine that filled my nostrils was overwhelming.
I picked through my brain, trying to remember why I was here. The irony; going from a happy kid to this state that could even make the toughest of people crumple under the weight. "Don't you realize how awful of a person you are? You look awful on both the inside and out! You're fat and ugly! You need to become anorexic." All of these awful things that people had been telling me all throughout my life, my mother especially, had broken down the happy little girl I once was. There I was, fourteen years old, ready to throw down the cards that I had been dealt.
Flashbacks were spinning through my brain of all the long sleepless nights spent staring up at the stars, of all of the tears that I had shed, and I wondered if there would ever be a true ending to all the hurt. My mind was spinning as I fought the urge to swim up for air. All that was going through my head at that point was the fact that I felt that no one would miss me. I then began to wonder what would happen to my best friend, Sarah, how she would cope. Everything went black, I couldn't see anything, and I knew I was drifting into unconsciousness.
As I was lying at the bottom of the pool, a vibrant picture was painted against my closed eyelids.