Besides, his giving advice cut her off from telling all the details and her feelings! He can't understand why she becomes mad at him after he tries to help, then he gets mad at her for being a "typical woman." .
This is a serious communication problem. Women start more conversations than men, ask more questions, attempt to put the other person at ease more, are more supportive of the talker, and generally take more responsibility for the overall social situation. These are valuable, commendable skills. Men not only change the topic more but they do 95% of the interrupting of women in mixed company. This is observable chauvinism. Kohn (1986) points out that it would be very regrettable if women, in the process of being liberated, became as competitive and concerned with status (feeling superior?) as men are. Males too can learn listening and empathy responding skills (chapter 13) and it will be a better world. Tannen (1990, 1993), Gray (1993), and Elgin (1993) are all good sources of information and help in this general area. Tannen (1994) concentrates on communication between the sexes at work. .
Introduction.
As a psychotherapist specializing in marital therapy, I frequently hear wives say, "Why can't my husband talk more, especially about his feelings?" while husbands say, "Why can't my wife just give me the facts? Instead she goes on and on." Similarly, wives ask, "Why can't my husband just listen when I tell him about a problem? He insists on giving me advice," whereas husbands question, "Why does my wife insist I talk to her about my problems? My style is to deal with them myself.".
Based on these and related statements, sometimes it seems that men and women want very different things when it comes to communicating. .
Conversational differences between men and women .
Women generally tend to want connection with others, and to feel close through getting and giving confirmation, empathy and support.
