I used to be so proud, maybe I still am and I didn't know it deep down but I knew I liked being proud of myself and what I could do. I held it above everything else. I held my pride very high by consuming myself day by day trying to better myself for myself. Seldom by putting efforts on others, even my family. For example, if someone was better then me at something I would acknowledge it and not be jealous of the person. Instead I would have to try and beat them; it's like an inner drive that I had to be better. I tried to do twice as much as everyone else. As I go back in my childhood years, there was a time I didn't even think of God or accept that he even existed; it's as though I refused myself to acknowledge his existence. I thought I could do everything on my own, my way, for myself. The strange thing is I didn't care about possessions, money or materials. All I cared about was being a better person than anyone else.
However, as I"m growing I am beginning to learn that it was my own stupid arrogance. God is teaching me through this trial that I cannot do everything on my own. The trial that I am going through right now is trying to finish my college and attain a bachelor's degree. I realized that selfish desires lead no where and only to utter destruction and that caring for others is right way to go about it. By carrying pride in an utter manner is definitely the wrong way to go about it.
There are times when I just pray to God to just take me out of this trial process, but he seems to wait and made me realize that it was my own pride that has done this to me. In order for me to accomplish and come out of it with flying colors, I have to learn from it. .
One thing I have learned is that nothing if free or nothing is handed to you on a silver platter. Everything that an individual possess is all based on their sincerity and hard work. Similar to that God creates every individual in its own form, but it is upon that individual to learn to shape themselves and live a civilized life.
