It is essential to explain that a particular behavior is unecceptable, and why. If this does not work then it may be accompanied by a time-out and denial of priveleges. .
Dr. Murray Strauss at the Family Research Laboratory affirms that spanking teaches children to use acts of aggession to solve problems. It only teaches and perpetuates more violence. This, as you may know, is what the world is most concerned about. His research further shows that children who have been spanked are more prone to low self-esteem, depression, and accept lower paying jobs as adults. .
Here are some things you as a parent or caregiver can do instead. Get calm. If you feel angry and out of control and you want to spank or slap your child, leave the situation if you can. Calm down and get quiet. In that quiet time you will often find an alternative or solution to the problem. Sometimes parents lose it because they are under a lot of stress. Dinner is boiling over, the kids are fighting, the phone is ringing, and your child drops the can of peas and you lose it. If you can not leave the sitiuation, then mentally step back and count to ten.
Take time for yourself. Parents are more prone to spanking when they have not had any time to themselves and they feel depleted and hurried. So it is important for parents to take time for themselves to exercise, read, or take a walk.
Be kid but firm. Another frusterating situation where parents tend to spank is when their child hasn't listened to the parents repeated requests to behave. Finally you spank to get your child to "be good." Another solution in these situations is to get down to your childs level, make eye contact, touch them gently and tell them what it is you want them to do. Make sure you say this calm but firm. This way you get point across, but not harshly. .
Give choices to your child. If they are playing with their food at the table, ask them to stop playing with their food, or they will be asked to leave the table.