Exodus 20:12, which says, "Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee;" and Ephesians 6:1-3, which says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.".
Neither passage instructs you to respect your parents. Both say you have to show honor to them, even if you don't respect them. The first time a sailor sees an officer during the day he is supposed to salute him. This shows honor. He may not respect the officer, but he is still required to show honor. It might be more pleasant to salute an officer he respects, but the salute has to be rendered anyway. So the requirement of the scriptures is to show honor to your parents whether you respect them or not. This means treating them the way you would like to be treated, even when they don't treat you that way. It means not talking back to them or disobeying them. It may not be an easy command to follow, but it may fall under the category of loving your enemies. You may not like them, but you are still supposed to think of their highest good, which is what is meant by love. It isn't based on emotion, but on action. .
For someone to get respect, they must first demonstrate it. If the above paragraph is true, why is not true for parents as well? Listening when someone is having problems and not just blowing them off and walking away would be a start. Respecting decisions is one thing, but talking about them and your problems with the decision is another. It is still respectful, and this way everyone can be satisfied. Compensating, or at least trying, so everyone is happy with their situation is a necessary ingredient for respect to flourish, so as to not be selfish. The easiest person to be selfish is the person with everything, whether it is material possessions, or other things, such as status.
