What do you think of when you consider the mind? Do you marvel at its wondrous capabilities in all realms of existence? Perhaps you do, but I would speculate that few pause to consider the great depth of evil fathomable within the mind. I am one of those few depressed individuals who have experienced some of the worst of what the mind can create. After living through depression there are many lessons to be learned but the most important is clear. Even when people see the worst in life and despair it is still possible for them to know and experience the joy of living.
I am wandering in the desert. The sun beats down mercilessly upon the white sands. I can faintly recall the forest, its cool green leaves, the bursts of color here and there and the stillness at night where rest can be found. But as for now I see nothing but the endless sea of dunes and heat. This is what its like to be depressed, to wander in a desert of despair, barely remembering anything about the beautiful forest. I began to see everything as a shadow of what it could be and to learn to look for imperfection in all things. My mind raced through confusion and darkness not seeing any light in existence. .
My father died. Did I mention that? I dont mean to change too quickly but thats where I believe it all began. I think about his death little and can only speculate as to its effect on me. My father dying of cancer sent a shockwave through my entire family and a part of everyone was lost with him. After this I traveled down a lonely path on my way to becoming a young adult. Without guidance, save God, I found independence and loneliness went hand in hand. I performed well in academics, music, and sports but never tried to excel socially. There was no point. All relationships lead to in the end is pain and death. So I wandered in my desert, occasionally glancing back toward the forest I once knew.
There was another young man who lost his father.