Anger is the feeling we experience when events in our world are not going according to our plans. It's as if we have an inner idea of how things, events and people should be - and when they don't march to our tune we get angry and either feel frustrated or try to change them.
It usually works fine, up to a point, until we are about three or four years of age. After this it becomes a bit redundant but that doesn't stop many of us remaining a victim to our tempers all of our lives.
In essence, anger is the feeling we get when we want to control the world about us. It's a pretty childish emotion - since no one person can or will ever be able to control everyone else in the world - or even in one's own family. We know that. But usually don't know what to about it!
One common way of setting yourself up to become angry is to have a version of how things should be and to continuously compare reality with your version - and then feel angry when reality gets it wrong!
As part of this process you have mental list of triggers against which you test reality and when reality gets it 'wrong' you feel angry. These triggers are situations that cause you to explode - or implode if you tend to suppress your anger.
Some experts believe it is better to express anger rather than bottle it up. They point out that suppressing anger can dangerously affect physical health and is frequently linked with heart disease. Other experts say that expressing anger makes things worse because it exacerbates the difficult situation and can have unpleasant consequences for your relationships, your career, and even your personal liberty.
Their conflicting advice does not seem to offer us much choice. Expressing anger is easier on the heart but you could end up lonely or in prison. Suppress anger and people will like you but you may damage your health.
Fortunately these are not our only choices. There is a third option - not to get angry in... Continue Reading