14). .
During his time with this outlook, Siddhartha is not only aloof to the world, but he's also entirely separate and unloving to his Self. After years with this attitude, Siddhartha realizes that he has learned all his teachers have to teach, and so he leaves asceticism. Later on, Siddhartha realizes that it is not through ignoring and abusing the Self, but through caring and listening to the Self that he will learn. After meeting the Buddha and separating from Govinda, Siddhartha reflects and decides to listen to his inner Self: "He would only strive after whatever the inward voice commanded him, not tarry anywhere but where the voice advised him" (p. 47-48). In essence, Siddhartha goes from ignoring the self, to listening to the self. However, this listening is not all it took for Siddhartha to truly love himself. While listening to his self, Siddhartha experiences town life but collapses into material want and need. Siddhartha realizes this and abruptly leaves his town life. Siddhartha attempts to kill himself, but is stopped when he hears Om, the sound of the river. He awakes to meet his friend Govinda, and they speak for a short while. Afterwards, Siddhartha has yet another epiphany. He realizes, .
"One thing I have done well, which pleases me, which I must praise- I have now put an end to that self-detestation, to that foolish empty life. I commend you Siddhartha, that after so many years of folly, you have again had a good idea, that you have accomplished something, that you have heard the bird in your breast sing and followed it." So he praised himself- (p. 97-98).
For the first time, Siddhartha praises and is proud of himself. This is one of the first things to fall into place in his understanding of love.
While in the town, Siddhartha set into motion another series of events that would also aid his understanding of love. While experiencing physical love with Kamala, Siddhartha impregnates her, although does not discover this for quite some time.