Mrs. Dalloway

The love Peter has for Clarissa is destructive and possessive; therefore, she can not be with him. I get this feeling because she goes on describing both love and religion as, "the cruelest things in this world, she thought seeing them clumsy, hot, domineering, hypocritical, eavesdropping, jealous, infinitely cruel and unscrupulous, dressed in a mackintosh coat, on the landing; love and religion" (126). This sentence is overwhelming for me. I had to read it several times before I was able to understand what she is saying. Just this one sentence could describe all of her feelings, thoughts and emotions. She uses such forceful adjectives as she describes love, religion, and even Mrs. Kilman. .
             According to Clarissa, there should be a way to love someone and still have a half sense of privacy of soul. However, with Peter Walsh that balance didn't exist, "Love destroyed too! Everything that was fine, everything that was true went. Take Peter Walsh now" (126). Clarissa feels that Peter is trying to take away her privacy by always wanting to know everything about her what she was thinking and feeling. Yet, at the beginning of the paragraph she describes him as, "a man, charming, clever, with ideas about everything" (126). However, as I read on, the tone in her voice begins to change as she profoundly states, " But look at the women he loved-vulgar, trivial, commonplace. Think of Peter in love-he came to see her after all these years, and what did he talk about? Himself. Horrible Passion! She thought. Degrading Passion" (126)! When I first read this, I didn't think much of it, but then as I read it more and more, I started to think that Clarissa still has feelings for Peter. She talks about how he destroys love, but by the end of the paragraph she talks about is relationship with another woman. The confusing thing about this passage is I never now where it's going; Clarissa's mind never focuses on one thing.