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Approval or Control

             The search for true freedom is what all my communications are ultimately about -- freedom of the self and from the self. Freedom of the self means literal freedom: freedom from oppressive environments and relationships, the freedom of a satisfying career, and the freedom to make life meaningful.
             Freedom from the self means freedom from domination by addictions or passions, and the freedom to rise above the effects of fears that keep you from becoming all you are capable of being. These fears take the form of emotions, such as anger, worry, selfishness, jealousy, hate, repression, greed, possessiveness, envy, anxiety, guilt, inhibitions, egotism, malice, resentment, blame and fears such as the fear of intimacy, responsibility, even fear of success and the fear of failure.
             Enlightenment is a matter of rising above the effects of these and all the other fear-based emotions. In practice, this would be a matter never getting upset by circumstances or the actions of others, never judging others, and totally accepting what is. .
             Easier said than done? Of course. .
             Here's the response from a seminar participant:.
             "How is anyone ever going to rise above all the fear-based emotions?" asked Jennifer, a pretty blond woman in her thirties.
             "Well, it certainly won't happen unless you give it importance and set it as a goal," I said. "It can only result from the expanded awareness of self-actualized thinking. Change takes time. You have to work at it.".
             "But it's such a difficult task, why even bother?".
             "Because your life will work better and better in direct relationship to your ability to rise above the fears. Even a little effort at understanding will result in improvements.".
             "I"m sure you"d claim fighting with my husband is based on fear," she said.
             "Sure, You want approval or control or you wouldn't fight. Both actions are manifestations of the fear of not getting what you want.".
             "I don't understand.".
             "You want your husband to approve of your actions or reactions, or you want to control his actions or reactions.

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