Cobain was severely addicted to Heroin, an illegal Narcotic with addictive properties. On the In Utero tour of late 1993 and early 1994, Kurt had kicked the habit, and was on Methadone to counteract the painful, unforgiving withdraw associated with this drug. According to friends and family, Kurt was beginning to accept stardom and Nirvana's successes, which was something that he was not able to do before. Stardom was the last thing that Cobain wanted in late 1991 when Nevermind hit number one. In fact, this was one of the reasons among many as to why he increased his Heroin and Cocaine use. Nevermind was only supposed to sell, at the most, maybe 50,000 copies. Kurt had hoped that thier second studio album would do better than their first. Bleach was recorded for a little over $600 in Seattle in June of 1989, and had sold almost 35,000 copies. Kurt had no idea that Nirvana's next album would both change and ruin his life forever.
From the outset, 1994 proved to be a bad year for the Nirvana front-man. Concerts were being sold out by legions of fans who were less considerate than what others had been at Nirvana's earlier concerts and show-dates. Kurt's stomach pains were coming back, he was sick with Bronchitis, and now he was faced with signing a contract for the up-coming Lallapolooza Show. Nirvana was one of the bands which was expected to headline the show. But Kurt wanted no part in it, and never signed the contract. He may have lost millions for this decision, but he knew that he wanted out of the music business for good. He expressed concern for his life several times to friends, and in late March of 1994, he bought a shotgun along with some ammunition. At about this time, Kurt was back on the Heroin, and was forced to attend a rehabilitation clinic for drug treatment and recovery. He stayed for two days and then left, never to be seen alive again.
Now, doesn't it seem a little strange that although Kurt was clearly in fear for his life, that the same shotgun that he had bought would be found lying neatly across his chest? Sure, you could say that he bought the gun because he knew already that he was going to end his life.
