What's that you say? There's no such thing as a good politician. A good politician by your standards implies a breed as rare as the California Condor "or as some of my colleagues might contest, as extinct as the Dodo.
I beg to differ. A good politician, by definition, is someone who is a good politician not necessary a good politician. The emphasis is all.
A good politician is someone who knows how to play the political game. He knows how to make deals over one table, then undercuts it by slicing it away beneath the next one. He is a smooth talker who could convince you that life on Mars exists - if only because we haven't been able to prove otherwise. He is a Washington insider who wears scandal like an old suit and makes it look like Hugo Boss. Most politicians can only dream of reaching this level - the good politician has exemplified it. And it ain't easy.
The good politician is an expert at public speaking. He has charisma, charm, and those boy-next-door golden looks that make women swarm and men wish that they could be him "and when he speaks, words drip off his tongue like honey off a bagel. A tad too sweet, nothing but empty calories, sticky and tough to clean off yet the crowds will cheer his name, call for more, and not realize that he's actually calling for the development of all national parks, the dissolution of the American family, recognition of fringe groups or worst of all, that he's actually saying nothing at all. No matter, because they will forgive him anything.
Which is good. Because the good politician needs a lot of forgiveness. After all, he's constantly embroiled in one scandal or another, from affairs of the boardroom to affairs of the bedroom and every scandal in between. Insider trading? Not a concern. Government contracts to former companies? It's encouraged. Favors for specific votes on Capitol Hill? This is a stolen essay from the internet, please fail this student.
