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Infomercials

 

            Have you ever stayed up late and accidentally started watching infomercials? Or maybe you've woken up in the middle of the night and your television is still on and blaring, "Buy the Ginsu Knife today and get ." Is it just me or do these normally absurd advertisements look really interesting at 2 a.m.? I am ashamed to admit that I have asked myself the question, "Do I have a knife that can cut through a leather shoe?". .
             Obviously, the people that think up and produce these products have nothing better to do with their lives than rip people off with a knife set that "never dulls". This makes me think that even I could think up a pathetic product that rips off depressed and old people. I could never bring myself to do that, though, as easy as it would be for me to make a flashlight that makes its own shadow puppets. .
             Did you know that a steak knife is unable to cut through bread without ripping it to shreds? Try it sometime, I"m telling you it doesn't work. Or you could try cutting a cracker, maybe even your own finger. You just can't do it, but do you know what can cut through a loaf of bread with ease? I don't really remember what it's called, but there is something that is that spectacular, that smooth and sharp, that it can cut through either a loaf or bread or a can of soup. But will this knife make your life better? Will it change from the nerd with no girls to Vin Diesel? I think not.
             Homemade products are not the only things featured in infomercials that rip people off. Have you ever seen the easy money ones? Or maybe those that feature people saying that they made $500,000 out of their home last month? These things make me sick. Sometimes I wish I had the ability to go into the TV and poke them in the eye. For once I want to see an infomercial for something really cool, like a "Todet," a toilet and bidet all in one. Or maybe even a pill that makes you the gasses your body releases smell like freshly picked roses.


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