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Beginners Guide to Babysitting for Guys

            Running low on beer money? Need an easy way to make some extra cash for the weekend? Earning money while watching small children is the best way to go. If sitting around watching ESPN all-night and getting paid at the same time sounds like a good deal, than babysitting is the job for you. Now, for those of you with no experience in the childcare area, go to your nearest children's playground and take notes. Playgrounds are a common meeting place for the little ankle-biters. Watch the children play and run around for up to three hours. At the end of the day, if you are confident enough, offer some free candy to each child. They love free candy; therefore, they will love you. Now that you have won over the child, the next step is to sweet-talk the momma. You know all about flattering girls, so just work your magic on the mother and, BAM; you've got the job!.
             While arriving to the job, it is important to be late. This asserts your dominance in the situation and creates a trusting environment for the parents. Showing up late puts you in control of when you get to start working. Upon arrival, make sure to mentally take note of the child's condition. He or she will most likely have no visible cuts or bruises to any limbs. This is important because most parents will pay you more or hire you again if you return the child in the same condition as before. .
             As soon as those parents step out of the house is when the fun begins. You can do anything your heart desires while inside the house. But first, the child needs to be maintained. This is when duct tape and rope come in handy. Strapping the adolescent down to a chair will keep you worry free and the child out of trouble. .
             If you are in the mood to just watch some ESPN and kick back, feel free to viciously raid the kitchen for some grub. Making a mess in the kitchen will look like you took the time to make a wonderful, healthy dinner for the child.

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