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Book review of why marriages succeed or fail by john gottman

These couples will listen to each other's sides of the argument instead of ignoring or denying that there is a problem. Gottman found that these couples would use nonverbal cues to let the other know that they are listening. This idea of mutual respect lend to a lesser amount of arguments between couples. Once the couples let each other state their views they moved to a second stage in which they tried to persuade the other, and finally in the last stage they move to a compromise that both can live with. .
             The volatile problem-solving method occurs when couples bicker about many little things. Couples with this approach fight on a larger scale, with a lot of engagement during the discussions. These couples have little interest in hearing their partner's side of the argument. They skip part one which is listening to each other and move right into trying to persuade one another. Not only will these couples express more anger but they will also express more laughter and emotions in all circumstances. These couples tend to see themselves as equal and as individuals, which is something they believe should be emphasized within the marriage. They are open regarding positive and negatives things, and Gottman finds that these marriages tend to be the most passionate and exciting. On the other hand these arguments can get out of control and lead to a highly unstable marriage. The goal these types of couples are looking for is to find a balance between the frequent arguments that they have. .
             The last style is that of avoidance. Couples who use this tactic try to minimize the problems. These couples might air their differences but nothing ever comes of it, usually they will avoid even discussing the conflict so nothing ever gets accomplished. These couples will not try to persuade each other nor compromise. They simply decide that it is not big enough of a deal to talk about. These couples will not display the passion that occurs within a volatile relationship nor even what occurs in a validating relationship.


Essays Related to Book review of why marriages succeed or fail by john gottman

1. Marriage - Criticisms and Complaints

In the book "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail", written by John Gottman, Ph.D.,  I found an answer to this question. ... Therefore, it is reasonable to admit that complaint or criticism both could be the reasons "why marriages fail". ... According to a great author John Gottman, the statistics of failing marriages are getting worse and worse with every year. ... In conclusion, according to mister John, marriages get built and broken every day. ... To conclude, keeping a happy marriage and a healthy relationship is not easy, but mister Gottman's great book "Why Marr...

  • Word Count: 679
  • Approx Pages: 3
  • Grade Level: High School

2. annotated bibliography

 Communication Theory Annotated Bibliography April 16, 2013 Why does marriage work on an interpersonal level? Gottman, J. (1994). ... This article made some really good points on why marriages do and do not last. The research of the mid to late nineties stated that over half of all marriages fail and second time marriages have a sixty percent fail rate as well. ... Gottman also gives different conflict resolution styles and states statistics on how successful marriages really are in America. ...

  • Word Count: 1196
  • Approx Pages: 5
  • Grade Level: High School

3. Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus

Susan Page and John Gottman are two couples communication experts who offer some skills that will help you calm down in situations like this one. ... Susan Page wrote a book, Essential Traits of Couples Who Thrive. ... John Gottman wrote a book with a lot of similar views to Page. In The Two Marriages: His and Hers, Gottman's number one point is when you are in a conflict you must calm down. ... John Gray has a different approach to relationships. ...

  • Word Count: 719
  • Approx Pages: 3
  • Grade Level: High School

4. Marriage maintenance Project

He then posses the question "What if, like airplanes, all marriages had to submit to an annual review to determine their health? ... In order to keep the relationship in existence, according to John Gottman Ph.D. (1995), one must be actively interested, affectionate, show that they care, appreciative, show concern, empathic, accepting and be able to share joy with the other person. ... Gottman (1995) advises that one must "acknowledge your spouse's viewpoint before expressing your own- (p 204). ... In order to be classified as a good listener one must be able to express interest in thei...

  • Word Count: 4898
  • Approx Pages: 20
  • Has Bibliography

5. Self Help Books

Specifically, I am talking about John Gray, Deborah Tannen, John Gottman, and Susan Page. ... John Gray. He is the author of the infamous Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus book series. ... I say this because unlike Gray, she explains why the behavior happens and not exclusively how to solve it. ... John Gottman happens to be our last writer that I am discussing. ...

  • Word Count: 1054
  • Approx Pages: 4
  • Grade Level: High School

6. Marriage

Changes in Women and Marriage- Changes in Women and Marriage- Abstract This paper presents an in-depth discussion about the changing relationship between women and marriage. ... The purpose of the paper is to explore the changes affecting women, their attitudes toward marriage, and their expectations of marriage. This paper will primarily concentrate on the question of why women delay marriage. ... The Changing Relationship Between Women and Marriage Over the past four decades there has been substantial changes in the attitudes toward marriage among women in the United States. ... If half ...

  • Word Count: 3315
  • Approx Pages: 13
  • Grade Level: High School

7. A Doll's House

John Gottman says "What characterizes the marriages of stable and happy couples? ... According to John Gottman a strength in marriage is taking the other's problems and making them your own. "At the heart of my program is the simple truth that happy marriages are based on deep friendship. ... John Gottman stated that couples have to be very close friends. ... In the dictionary it says that marriage is an intimate association or union. ...

  • Word Count: 1027
  • Approx Pages: 4
  • Grade Level: High School

8. Mating and Marriage

Preface For my individual project for Introduction to Anthropology I have chosen to review Mating and Marriage, a book edited by Vernon Reynolds and John Kellette. [Bibliographical information: Kellette, John; Reynolds, Vernon. ... I chose this book to review because it contains valuable text that is useful for all humans to read. ... I found it out of the ordinary when the text discussed human societies in relevance to mating and marriage and at times failed to discuss the cultural implications of such things. ... Here is one example of a culture and how it deals with mating and marri...

  • Word Count: 1322
  • Approx Pages: 5
  • Has Bibliography
  • Grade Level: Undergraduate

9. total crap

The divorce rate in the United States is somewhere between 50 percent and a startling 67%" (Gottman 2). ... Research evidence has shown that marital distress and conflict within a marriage causes a wide range of negative effects on the children of the feuding spouses (Gottman 4). "Such effects include depression, withdrawal, poor social competence, various health problems, and poor academic performance" (Gottman 4). ... With these facts in mind, one might wonder why divorce is seen as such an unfortunate alternative; nevertheless it is the decision that most couples decide on taking without he...

  • Word Count: 1245
  • Approx Pages: 5
  • Grade Level: Undergraduate

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