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Future


            The future for me is a very vague subject to discuss because I don't tend to think of the future as something that can be planned for but rather as something that I can only attempt to improve. Based on this main belief I tend to take life one-step at a time and that is one of my biggest flaws. This shortsighted way of thinking undermines my attitude towards planning and limits my chances of achieving my goals in life.
             My main goal in life educationally are to get into either Engineering or Computer Science and graduate from any decent college, my vision of my future is rather shrouded and obscured by the many obstacles that are in my way. The thing that I hate most about the future is that it is undefined and so I have to try as hard as I can to make sure that the best possible future is the outcome of my labors. I will have to meet many educational prerequisites to attain what I want in life but more importantly I will also have to meet many spiritual prerequisites, I find that preparing myself for the future is very tough because it's not methodical and so I have to attempt to not only alter my mathematical way of thinking but also be more prepared for the uncertainties that I will have to face during my everyday life. The reason I am so resentful of the future and it's uncertainties is because these uncertainties are the very nature of any diplomatic life and ever since I was born I have been exposed and forced to tolerate them. What I do with my future is therefore going to me greatly influenced by my childhood experiences and I find that I would much rather have a reasonably predictable and stable life as apposed to the impetuous life that I lead with my family at the moment. I want to achieve a lot of things in the future and I know that most of them will probably never come true because the future is an "unreliable backstabber" as the famous Arabic saying goes and so I must learn to live with it and remember only all the things that I have accomplished and not the things that were denied me.


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