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Texas Two

 

            Recent military action in the Middle East has left a country in total chaos, and total anarchy has resulted from the ousting of tyrant-dictator Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq. The United Nations, after refusing to support the U.S.-led decision to overthrow Hussein, now wants to take part in the rebuilding of Iraq. I have a better idea. The United States could use its" recent military victory to solve all of the problems now facing the Middle East and acquire a profitable new investment at the same time. Iraq and its surrounding troublesome nations should be combined and formed into what would be the largest state in the union, Texas Two.
             Appropriately named, Texas Two is the result of the hard work and perseverance of two prominent Texan business men, presidents George H. W. Bush and his son George W. Bush. These two probably understand better than anyone else the gigantic economic impact such an acquisition would have on the United States. From the start, it would be a very efficient addition to the nation, as Texas Two would be a low-maintenance state, like New Mexico or Nevada.
             Texas Two would provide a substantial GDP increase in the form of oil. Growth in the United States has been declining for years due to diminishing net exports, not because of slowing output, but because of increasing imports. In our present economy, net exports could be upside-down within years, leaving them in the red. Not only would The Sandy State provide an increased GDP, but it would also remove our dependence on foreign oil. Also eliminated would be smarmy heart-to-heart "Elect because I"m like you even though my senate job has me set until I"m a hundred" political campaigns that play off of the Social Security scare. As a matter of fact, Texas Two could provide for the retirement of every American simply with oil revenues. Current Social Security taxes could be slashed, as the government-owned petroleum refineries would be the cash cow Baby Boomers have been looking for.


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